Here's the link to share your story (via an anonymous suggestion box), or share with a friend who has a story. Spread the word: https://www.suggestionox.com/r/Bk7Ngh
I have a theory that if people can remain anonymous, they are much more inclined to share their stories of inappropriate behavior in tango communities around the U.S. And around the world I suppose. With the goal of everyone hearing the stories, informing themselves, and hopefully informing and driving change in tango communities everywhere. And bearing witness. Supporting this growing number of victims. Someone said, "it's not an epidemic, but one is too many" - it is a known issue in every tango community - there is no doubt about that.
Well, I take that back, it appears there is substantial doubt that it is a problem. Or people just don't give a shit. Or that it's enough of a problem for the community to organize and do anything/something about. This aberrant thinking, group-thinking, which can paralyze a community into inaction. Inaction over many years because they believe it's not the community's place to put in an organizational or policy "structure". They believe the community has no authority to force some policy on teachers and organizers, when they want to be free and independent and autonomous operators under the greater community umbrella, selling their tango "products" to the consumers aka dancers. And making their own policies. Or the community believes that the teachers and organizers have no authority to implement a community-wide safe space policy. Nobody believes anybody has the authority.
A no-win situation. Lose-lose for everyone, especially the victims. Lose-lose for tango. Lose-lose for our souls. For our morality. For our ethics.
No one wants to stand up out of fear. Women don't want to come forward with their stories, justifiably, because they will be attacked, or scorned, or shunned, or not believed. The perpetrators will often be supported over their victims. We've all witnessed this in the news over the past two years. We've witnessed it in our tango communities.
Only one or two, or three or a half-dozen leaders who are chronic/serial offenders can cause a strong undercurrent of long-term discord in a tango community, cause followers to leave the community, cause new dancers not to engage, not to "stick", cause people to boycott milongas and practicas, venues, teachers, and yes, even festivals. If one of those chronic/serial offenders is in a position of authority in the community, and a group within that community continues to protect that individual, with community-level DARVO, it can do real damage to the health and growth of a tango community.
Tango communities fracture over this. Splinter groups form. Private, invitation-only milongas spring forth. The Tango Underground. It's even within the realm of possibility that an entire parallel community could spring up in a small town or large metropolitan area. A parallel universe of tango where safe spaces and codes of conduct are held as paramount principles for all to be mindful of, for teachers to interweave into their classes, and for all to adhere to and talk about. Without fear of reprisals. Without fears of being judged.
A Tango Universe of the dancers, by the dancers, for the dancers.
Note that I say "leaders" to keep it simple, ascribing to the historical male/leader - female/follower in tango. But obviously this works in all directions and all gender identities. Most commonly these incidents are male upon female.
I'm thinking something like the Standing Up For Safer Spaces Tumblr blog, only without the photos.
Here's the link to share your story (via an anonymous suggestion box), or share with a friend who has a story. Spread the word: https://www.suggestionox.com/r/Bk7Ngh
I've created this new blog to publish these (with any identifying details redacted), I will be adding resources for creating a safe space / code of conduct / behavioral guidelines policy for your tango community in the coming weeks.
Subscribe to stay tuned.
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